Saturday, September 28, 2013

I officially reject jesus!

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!!!! I'm writing to let anyone from the Evergreen Jesus Folk and the Evergreen Students for Christ know that I do not want any contact from them via telephone, email, facebook, or coming up and talking to me when they see me. I am no longer following Jesus. I AM A SATANIST NOW AND WORSHIP THE DEVIL EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY AND IT'S A LOT MORE FUN THAN WORSHIPING JESUS, WHO IS BORING AND TRIES TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY. If any of the jesus folk or students for christ contacts me i will document it, film them contacting me if they come up to me, and will take legal action against them with my Dark Lord's help.

It's so much more fun having Satan inside of me than jesus. I have an email address called sataninsideashlee@gmail.com. At least with satan, unlike jesus, I get to have actual sex, not just pretend to during massage parties and sleepovers and homo-erotic intervarsity conferences where bed sharing is a common event.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!!!!