That was a real deal breaker for me was just go total lack of acknowledgement when I do so much fun. His birthday is in. You know I try to make him feel as well as possible. I i do so much and you know Chris is always a well. I do so much. I do so much, but he does so much for the kids like he doesn't really do anything for me anymore except for well cooking for me, and you know buying me stuff there. It is really important. You know. I really do appreciate that but but there's not loving it like even the spaghetti he made for me this time. He was like ohh yeah, I had such a hard time making spaghetti because you know I had to watch the two kids while I was making it, so Live there is no love even put into that meal. I haven't tried it yet. Hopefully it tasted, but I mean I could just tell it was rushed, and I made probably taste time cuz you can really screw up spaghetti but You know there's no love in the milky make for me anymore. There's no love. It's just all I have to do this all I have to do that. It's just it's almost like I'm a w**** now, and if you feel like some money is it or then you're certainly not celebrating them, and you're certainly not happy you know about them being around and you know more dearly want them around you know they're just suddenly a tour, and I don't want to be at or I don't want to be some verbal you know placed on him if he loves the kids more than me that's fine, but at least say so instead of just you know pretending and then getting all mad at me when I voice how I feel you know truthful you, and then suddenly you know you turned around and folks like a child like it's all my fault, but it's not all my fault. Cuz everybody deserves love and I want love and I don't feel very loved right now. And I had we felt very lovely Chris ever since my birthday that was a real deal breaker. I was like you know what if you can't even wish me happy birthday. Then obviously you don't love me anymore. You don't love me anymore, or maybe you never did. I don't know but that was that was the day that I was just like f*** it. I'm just going to say everything I feel whether it's on Publix you in public on the blog or not cuz I'm not holding back anymore. This is just too painful. This is what I'm doing and Chris is not happy with me and neither is Jennifer, but I don't care because I don't feel loved and when I don't feel loved I feel hurt and I feel hurt. I want to I want revenge and but more than anything more than wanting revenge. I I just need to speak with you since so that's what I'm doing. So I guess I can take it or leave it, but anyway dad and I'm going to have some ice cream. It's really nice day. I think we want to take some ice cream to the park across the street and just eat it and let the sun Shines warm loving lays. Massage my body celeste my skin and hopefully make everything better. Bye. I'll safely love you, dad.